I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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