did you get engaged???
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
