She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
