So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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