And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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