were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
