she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
