Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
