you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
