Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dick very happy bro
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