I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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