I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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