I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
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I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
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Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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