before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Welp...herpes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize