Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
