some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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