life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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