good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
