..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
