If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
