lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
