Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
