I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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