i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
