she looked like the before picture.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
