i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
