i just google imaged poop.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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