You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
