You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
