Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
