Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize