4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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