there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
