did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
