I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
