It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
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We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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