i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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