It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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