Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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