Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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