My first STD was from a foam party
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
