I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
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Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
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She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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