Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
