your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
