i don't like sucking hair
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
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The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
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Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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