i already hear my dad disowning me
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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