Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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