i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
