I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
