That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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