I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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