Sponge bath it is.
i love accidental penises.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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