and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
