yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
