i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
