turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dignity is for republicans.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
