Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize