Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
