Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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