The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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